Terror Beneath the Waves

~It sounds like the beginning of a horror movie, but unfortunately for us puny air-breathing land-dwellers, this is reality:



^ The population of Humboldt Squid (also known as diablos rojos, or "Red Devils")off the West coast of North America is rapidly increasing. The reasons for the increase in their numbers near the surface is still not fully understood, but marine biologists suspect an increase in oceanic dead zones may be to blame.

At any rate, these carnivorous calamari can grow to be seven feet long and weigh up to 100 pounds. They have razor-sharp beaks, toothy flesh-rending tentacles, color-shifting camouflage, and keen intelligence. They can swim as fast as 20 miles per hour, and can actually leap out of the water to skim across the surface. They also travel in packs (shoals, to use the proper term) of up to 1,200. Last December, three SCUBA divers in the Sea of Cortez were killed when they found themselves in the middle of a Humboldt Squid shoal feeding frenzy. All that was left of them was air tanks and shredded wetsuit chunks.

For the love of god, if you're going diving with the squids don't forget your spear gun, preferably the kind that shoots explosive-tipped spears. Better yet, travel in a nuclear submarine. The kind with torpedoes and depth charges.