Tom Swifties

~I enjoy creating and using puns, sometimes to the detriment of those around me.  Some consider puns to be the lowest form of humor, although in the past this was not always the case.  For example, in Ancient Egypt, puns  were considered a form of magic (although I can’t say whether or not the Egyptians found them amusing).

Today, I’d like to introduce you to a new type of pun (unless, of course, you’re already familiar with it): the Tom Swifty.  It’s a pun in which a quoted sentence is linked to a word used to describe how the sentence is said; the archetype being,

• “We must hurry,” Tom said swiftly.

This form of pun was popularized by the Tom Swift series of adventure novels, in which the author went through great pains (perhaps too great pains) to avoid using only the word “said”, in favor of using an adverb to describe how something was said (such as “swiftly” in the example above). 

They don’t always have to be adverbs, though.  Here are some great examples that I ran across recently:

• "The doctor had to remove my left ventricle," said Tom half-heartedly.
• "I used to be a pilot," Tom explained.
• "Hurry up and get to the back of the ship," Tom said sternly.
• "I love hot dogs," said Tom with relish.
• "Oh no! I dropped my toothpaste!" Tom said, crestfallen.
• "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the tomb," Tom said cryptically.
• "I manufacture tabletops for shops," said Tom counterproductively.
• "Do you want some chocolate milk?" Tom asked quickly.
• "I'm sorry the plane carrying the moon lander crashed," Tom said apologetically.
• "I have a split personality," said Tom, being frank.
• "Ah, my favorite bread," said Tom wryly.
• "They had to amputate them both at the ankles," said Tom, defeated.
• "Do you think the shepherdess really likes me?" Tom asked sheepishly.
• "Somebody took all of the twos out of this deck," Tom deduced.
• "Pete! Pete! Pete!" Tom repeated.
• "Why won't this crowbar open the door?" Tom pried.
• "I want a motorized bicycle" Tom moped.

Looking for more? Here’s an online dictionary of over 400 Swifties!