Film Review: "10,000 BC"

~Directed by Roland Emmerich (best known for the alien-invasion blockbuster "Independence Day") and shown in 2008, "10,000 BC" is an epic in the original sense of the word. Set 12,009 years ago, the movie tells the story of a young dreadlocked hunter named D'Leh (rhymes with the surname of a former Texas Congressman), who must leave his mammoth-hunting mountain tribe after slavers kidnap his beloved, the mysterious Evolet. Hot on the slavers' trail, he encounters saber-tooth tigers, ferocious blizzards, and even carnivorous terror birds in the course of his quest. On the way, he builds up an army of other tribes whose people have also been preyed upon, and instigates a massive slave rebellion at the site of the Giza pyramids!

Some critics (any by "some" I mean "most") have derided this film for its historical inaccuracy, pointing out that the pyramids were build in the 3rd millennium BC, terror birds did not co-exist with homo sapiens, etc. But so what? It makes for a bloody good film (and I mean that literally). I'm reminded of those who complained that "The Da Vinci Code" wasn't accurate. Get a grip, people: it's entertainment. As far as this film goes, a deleted scene on the DVD I watched implies that the pyramids are covered by the desert sands, later to be unearthed by the Egyptians, implying that in the fictional world of this movie, the pyramids really ARE 12,000 years old.

My chief complaint about this film is not in its supposed inaccuracy, but rather that the story has potential that, in my mind, wasn't realized. D'Leh's journey, as I've said, is truly epic: a long quest through distant lands, torturous challenges, building an army and launching a massive slave rebellion, and so forth. But despite all that, I didn't think it was quite epic enough. For example, all we get to see of the slaver civilization is a construction camp and a large boat, rather than an entire pre-historic civilization. The film incorporates some quasi-fantasy (e.g., Atlantis, remote viewing), but I would have liked to see some science fiction elements, or at least hints of something greater. I would also have liked to see a massive battle between tens of thousands of primitive tribesmen and the small but technologically superior proto-Egpytian army at the gates of a massive city lost to the sands of time...but then, I'm not a director, and my imagination has no budgetary limits.

If you enjoy thrilling adventure stories that are epic in scope and show personal heroism and sacrifice, you'll love 10,000 BC. It makes me wonder what stories people will tell about us 12,000 years from now. Final grade: B+. Here's a trailer for the movie: