Fellow Librarians:It has come to the attention of the Librarian Council that fugitive oculator Alcatraz Smedry has recently published a memoir of his early life titled "Alcatraz versus Evil Librarians", under the absurd pseudonym of Brandon Sanderson. Said volume is an EXTREME THREAT to the hegemony of global librarian domination, and it is our task to deal with the fallout caused by its unfortunate publication.
Presented as an exciting coming-of-age story, Alcatraz follows the orphaned title character as he receives a mysterious package in the mail on his twelfth birthday, and soon learns the truth about the conspiracy of librarians that secretly rules most of the world. He has the audacity to infiltrate, with the assistance of a motley band of his relatives from the Free Kingdoms, one of our regional headquarters (disguised as a public library as per standard protocol). Along the way, he confronts sword-wielding librarian guards, miniature talking dinosaurs, laser-firing glasses, a powerful Dark Oculator, and magically-animated death-dealing romance novels.
Young adults will surely enjoy this seditious book, cunningly disguised as "fiction" to entice ignorant readers. While some members of the Council argue that this book should be immediately banned and destroyed on sight by librarian operatives, I believe the opposite approach is in order. Read this book, recommend it to patrons, and extol its virtues! They will surely love it and thank you for the recommendation. Of course, they will believe that "Alcatraz versus the Evil Librarians" is merely a work of fiction…which is exactly what we want them to think.
Sapare Aude,
~DJD~
Dark Oculator 1st Class
Inner Libraria
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