I am the Very Model of Computerized Librarian!

The UNC SILS listserv directed me to this site, where I found this song (to the theme of, "I Am The Very Model of a Modern Major-General" from Gilbert and Sullivan’s The Pirates of Penzance). All together now:

I am the very model of computerized Librarian,
I seek out information zoologic to agrarian,
I know each subject that is found in an encyclopedia
I handle every AV tool and every type of media;
My online databases can locate each journal article,
In physics texts, I can define each elemental particle,
In atlases and online maps, I find the way to Timbuktu,
Identify each capital from Bogota to Katmandu.

I navigate the Internet with speed and perspicacity;
Evaluate each website for its content and veracity:
In fact, in finding information, most utilitarian,
I am the very model of computerized librarian.

I quickly search the Internet or grab the right book off the shelf;
Then give the patron answers or I teach him how to search himself,
I speed through every database like Galenet, FirstSearch, Dialog,
My records are all organized, just try my on-line catalog;
My homepage is a marvel of well-documented, helpful links,
It points to sites on modern jazz, hang-gliding and old Egypt’s Sphinx!
I know just how to catalog in Dewey and in L. of C.,
I know the best books you should buy and those you wouldn’t want for free.

I get you quotes on hot new stocks and find addresses in a trice,
The latest news, a star’s birthday, song lyrics or a cure for lice:
In fact, in finding information, most utilitarian,
I am the very model of computerized librarian.

When I can look up online all ephemeral material,
When I can get full text of every page in every serial,
When my computer translates every language and each dialect,
From Hindu texts in Sanskrit to Confucius with each analect,
When every book is digitized and indexed in my database,
When I’m the first librarian to travel into outer space -
And when I’ve indexed every site on every chromosome and gene,
You’ll say a more computerized librarian has never been.

I’m working on an interface directly to the human mind,
So I can capture concepts that have not yet even been defined;
In fact, in finding information, most utilitarian,
I am the very model of computerized librarian.

(Lyrics by Diane M. O’Keefe, M.S.L.S. and Janet T. O’Keefe, M.L.S.)

NC Disaster Planning Source

~Here is a website I created as a final project for a management class that I'm enrolled in. It has information for businesses on how to prepare for six different disasters that can occur in North Carolina, along with annotated links and information on how to create a comprehensive disaster plan.

T.E.D. Sixth Sense Technology

~This came up in one of my classes, and it's the coolest thing I've seen in a some time: a cellular-based projector & motion sensor that gives its wearer a sort of "sixth sense" and unparalleled access to information at any time:




^ Neat, isn't it? What impresses me the most is the low cost of the materials - she claims they cost only $350 (although there must also be Internet access charges for the cell phone). I'm sure the components could be further miniaturized to make them less obtrusive. Perhaps the projector could be replaced with a high-tech set of glasses that project images onto the lenses, so only the wearer sees the projections...the applications are endless.

Space Lightning!

~No, this isn't about a new science fiction movie or novel. Space lightning (or "upper-atmosphere lightning") is a very real meteorological phenomenon, and a very impressive one. For many years, observational reports of upper-atmosphere lightning were dismissed, often because airline pilots who observed it were reluctant to speak for fear of ridicule. Not until 1989 were pictures taken by scientists from the University of Minnesota, and its existence was not confirmed until 1994.

^ If you look at the above chart, you'll notice several distinct categories of atmospheric phenomena. Aside from the familiar lightning storm at the bottom, there are also blue jets, sprites, and elves (no, as Dave Barry would say, I Am Not Making This Up). Notice how the "sprites" and "elves" extend well beyond 50 miles (80 km) above sea level, making them technically in outer space (hence "space lightning").

Sprites (named after Ariel from The Tempest) are essentially gigantic sparks caused by powerful lightning discharges in the lower atmosphere; if the discharges are powerful enough, they temporarily increase the strength of the electrical field above the storm, resulting in a sprite. As you can see from the image, it's a huge reddish flash, sometimes nearly 50 miles high, tens of miles across, and potentially occupying thousands of cubic miles.

That may sound impressive, but a sprite is an extremely short-lived event, usually lasting for only 1/100th of a second. Still, that's more than enough for the human eye and brain to perceive them. Don't believe me? See for yourself:



^ This video was recorded by an aircraft flying at ~45,000 feet over a storm in the area of Texas & Arkansas in 1994. It shows the first color images taken of sprites and blue jets.

"Elves", also seen on the chart, are electromagnetic pulse (EMP) shockwaves caused by the electrical discharge that creates sprites. Unlike sprites, however, elves last only ~1/1000th of a second, and are therefore generally too quick for humans to perceive. The term "elves" refers not only to the mysterious, elusive nature of this phenomenon, but is also a mostly-frivolous acronym for "Emissions of Light and Very Low Frequency Perturbations from Electromagnetic Pulse Sources".

Blue jets are not a sports team, but rather cone-shaped blasts of energy that project 25-30 miles from the tops of cumulonimbus (i.e., storm) clouds. Like sprites, the precise cause of blue jets is unknown, but is thought to have less to do with lightning activity and more with intense hail activity in the storms that form them. Blue jets are extremely elusive and very few images have been obtained.




Meteorology discoveries like this remind me of reading the Handbook of Unusual Natural Phenomena (a bit dated, but most of its entries are still very mysterious to modern science). So the next time you're in the middle of a roaring thunderstorm, take a moment to wonder what's going on above the storm. Who knows...perhaps gigantic energy discharges are blasting unfathomable amounts of electricity out into space! I wonder what other mysteries our atmosphere holds for humans to discover and be awed by.